A Writer's Regret
Have you ever written something that you were proud of? You thought you did a pretty good job on it. You were pretty confident that your argument was solid, and you thought that you provided sufficient proof to support that thesis. You even thought that you proofread it well to rid it of those annoying typos.
If you have had a similar experience, let me ask you this. How did you feel when you opened that document several years later? Did it quite feel like the triumphant piece of writing you had originally thought it was?
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you probably found several things that you would improve about that work. It is not that the original was necessarily terrible, but when you looked at it with fresh eyes, you immediately found ways that you could make it better. I have a feeling this is why so many authors issue second editions. Of coursel, there are obviously financial reasons why a second edition might be beneficial, especially for academic textbook publishers. However, even beyond that, a completed piece of writing is never going to be a perfect piece of writing.
I had this experience recently. I have this work I started several years ago, and I was recently motivated to pull it back out and try to work on it again. A few things became immediately evident.
After going through the piece completely and clarifying places where my arguments were less than solid, I have now added approximately 33% to my word count (and I think there will be more to come in my next revision). What that tells me is that even if my original argument was solid, which I think it was as I changed the general structure very little during this revision, what I had originally thought was sufficient support for my argument was not nearly supportive enough. I had created a work of topic sentences.
Secondly, I learned that some sentences are just plain awkward. They seemed perfectly fine to me at the time, or they were apparently not enough of a problem for me to change. Now that I look at them with fresh eyes, I kind of wonder what I was thinking. Isn’t it funny how our perspective on what makes sense changes over time?
I mention each of these examples because there are big and little things about this work that I am pretty sure I can improve upon.
And improve them I shall.
That’s the thing about writing. Some may see it as a discouraging process; it is a continual process of looking at something you have written and being unsatisfied with it. However, I do not view it as discouraging. I view it as simply reality. I need to accept my own imperfections and fight the good fight to produce the best piece of writing I am capable of authoring. It takes bravery to enter into this battle that you know you are never quite going to win. There will always be that little doubt in the back of your mind, reminding you that you could have made a better word choice or included a better example in support of your argument.
And all of this is okay.
There is a time for saying that a work is “finished.” When you hand in that paper, submit that book proposal, or even hit the send button, you need to be able to say that you have done your best and that is enough. You cannot tinker forever. Deadlines exist. However, up until that point, we all need to avoid one of two errors.
The first error is extreme overconfidence. I have never read anything that is perfect.
The second error is the fear-based paralysis. Pursuing perfection forever is a fool’s errand.
Each and every one of us is capable of putting forth our best effort though. That’s what I intend to do. Yes, I fully realize that in five years I will probably look at the revisions I am working on right now, even if I have published them and a lot of people have enjoyed reading them, and will find things that I would do differently. I can’t be afraid that that is going to happen. Instead, now is the time to work hard and drive on.