2020: A Positive Review

When all of us are sitting in our nursing homes someday and reminiscing about the old days with the other people at the cafeteria table, whenever someone brings up 2020, all of us are going to gasp and share stories about all of the ridiculous things that have happened this pandemic-cursed year. Kind of like everyone seems to be able to tell you where they were when JFK was shot or when they first heard about 9/11, everyone will be able to remember how their lives were changed for most of the year 2020.

While that is certainly true for me, and I have stories about selling insurance from a card table in the living room and having many socially distant Bible studies outside around a bonfire, 2020 has been a monumental year for me in a variety of other ways that, while most likely influenced in some way by the coronavirus, are not directly related to it either. I want to use this post as a way to talk about those things, the good things that will always be in my mind when I think about 2020.

I completed my Ph.D.

I will always remember this achievement first and foremost when I think about 2020. Because of the beautiful class ring my parents bought me as a birthday present in July, this year and its main achievement are often literally attached to my finger.

I began studying at Faulkner University in 2016. I was privileged to study under a collection of excellent professors and alongside an impressive and highly qualified group of fellow students. While I cannot deny that I am relieved to have completed and defended my dissertation this year, there is a great deal of truth to that wonderful quote from Mr. Andy Bernard, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.”

Finishing my studies was huge for me in 2020, and it will always be the first thing that I remember when I look back on 2020.

I bought a house.

I have never made a major financial investment in my life outside of my wheelchair accessible van. However, early this year I started thinking about how a little bit of diversification might not be a bad thing for me. Not only that, but as an individual who requires personal care attendant services, a little bit of residual income can certainly help soften the impact of having to pay for that help.

With real estate on my mind, one day my mom and I actually went for a bike ride around town. She and I have done this about one time every summer for most of my life. We just ride around the city, taking whatever streets we feel like and just spending a few hours wandering around. For whatever reason, we found ourselves on a certain street by a house that had a For Sale sign in front of it. I had not seen this house on any of the real estate websites, but I liked the look of it, so I took note of the agent and found it online.

To make a very long story short, I bought that house at the beginning of December. I learned a lot from this process, and I now know a lot of things I could do better in the future when I buy another one (and another, and another, etc.), but this was a big milestone that I will always remember about 2020.

I published academic and popular articles.

I’m not going to throw my entire CV in this article, but here’s a link to it. Around finishing my dissertation, I was able to publish articles, a few book reviews, and an essay in a book that should be coming out in a few months. Beyond that, I contributed essays to two of my favorite websites, The Imaginative Conservative and Front Porch Republic. It is always exciting to see your writing on websites that you love to read.

Now that my dissertation is behind me, there are greater writing projects on the horizon (spoiler alert), but I was happy with the work I was able to produce this year.

I finally fought back against SMA.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a disability called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. It is a relative of Muscular Dystrophy, and it is largely characterized by severe muscle weakness. Muscle loss progresses, not drastically, but steadily year after year. A few years ago a medication called Spinraza was approved that was supposed to slow down this declination. While some people reported regaining some muscle and some abilities that they did not have before, the true hope for this medication, at least in my mind, was to maintain my current state and not lose any more function.

This past January I began receiving these spinal injections. While I do not have hard numbers to prove how I feel, I have found certain daily tasks like eating to be slightly easier. I have found that I have more endurance in my hands when I drive my wheelchair for long distances. Therefore, I may be in that group that regained a little bit, but I also certainly do not feel like I have declined which is a huge victory.

This is the first time in my life that I have actually done something to actively try to counteract my disability. Everything else has been sort of like trying to adapt in the face of an inevitable dip. This actually feels like a proactive step to prevent that decrease and eliminate the need to adapt to life with less muscle.

Long-term, my muscular decline is probably going to continue just like it does for everybody as they age. However, with the rate seemingly being slowed down, this was a significant step this year.

I taught my first class.

I was graciously given the opportunity to teach about J.R.R. Tolkien through Kepler Education, and I held my breath and hoped that I would be able to do this. Most of you who know me will probably agree that one thing I rarely lack is confidence, but I hoped that I would at least be able to reach the students and help them appreciate these books that mean so much to me.

We made it through, and the students in my class were excellent. I assigned them a lot of work, and I gave them some challengers they had never experienced before. They rose to the occasion, gave their all, and were highly successful. I hope they learned something from me. I guess you would have to ask them if they did.

I’m sure that every class I teach going forward will present its own unique challenges, and there will always be some element of breath-holding before the first day of class every semester. However, I was so grateful to have this opportunity this year. It will certainly not be the last class I teach (spoiler alert, with more information coming early in the new year).

2020 was not that bad.

Overall, 2020 has changed a lot of things in my life. And while 2020 will always bring back memories of my tragic inability to recognize anybody with a mask on, it will also bring back a lot of positive memories as well. I know that it has been a difficult year for hundreds and thousands of people around the country and around the world, and I don’t mean to minimize that. However, in the midst of the darkness and chaos, there are also opportunities to be grateful, so that is what I wanted to highlight with this post to share with all of you. It’s kind of like what happened to Frodo and Sam when they were losing hope in Mordor.

“There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while. The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him. For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.”

The shadow will pass, and all of the beautiful things that we can be grateful for will live on in our hearts and minds far beyond this crazy, mixed-up, unbelievable year.